[sleetheart]
what is pain?
if not the proof of life
My secret hideout
hopefully hopeful
:backdoor to my consciousness
:my secret fear;
But what is fear?
if not the steadily gnawing flame
the grinding tooth of my confidence.
:my secret love.
And what is love?
if not the purpose of my heart
:my secret weakness;
and what is weakness?
if not every lie
told on the detour
to false fulfillment.
†
My pity
a flirt with friendship:
dead steady.
my wings; your chains
your chance - my grip
I swear: I never swore
it is no curse, it is but my frown
mistaken by many,
read by the kind -
and my pitiful eye
bare of pride
bare of youth
rid of you
and grateful for the afterimage
†
Reach out with your tiny grasp:
I am the endangered species
that roams your heartland.
A thousand predators on my track.
I kill slowly, if I must
I'll die swiftly
if I can't help it.
Where is my prey?
is it only myself:
hunted
their clammy hands on my neck
taking me in my sleep.
I am the endangered species
thus; hold me tight!
a last time and again
as long as it lives.
†
Your plan: the quiet life
My plan: the struggle
cannot stand nor understand
the reason for my beatenness
my unsteady eye breaks
at the dawn of youth, for
where regrets end is not the place
to start believing
the coast of my heart
where shipwrecked you lay in tender tide
spawns but the naked urchin
the fate-bearer in my name
†
Your soil.
bespoke telltale
canvas of life - line painting standards -
cling to me!
sweet friendship;
rest
For I am labeled: lonely
fate-bound another day breaks along
a weary glimpse
in the face of reality:
that it is love,
I will have to let you
go for.
†
I am telling history backwards
for us to understand
it is the hidden notion of substance
purged by time.
essential for becoming itself
like my need of the sudden tear
to melt the ice
of my frown.
Januar′08, BLN/DUB / © jänz...!
